One stress down…
Oh dear, life is so complicated. I keep waiting for it to smooth out and become easier but maybe it just isn’t meant to but I wish at least certain parts would. Hopefully it all pans out soon, I don’t want to have to make those really tough painful decisions but I may have to, who knows.
One stress down, I passed my PT test I had been stressing out over, I actually passed with an excellent. They were a lot less strict on push ups than I thought they would be so I got 29 that counted and I have very definitely improved my run time. My last PT test I got a 15 minute mile and a half run, this time I got a 13:52, it took six months to cut off the extra time but that is the best run time I have ever gotten in my life and I am really proud of it even if other people may think it is a slow time. The biggest thing is now, because I got an excellent, I don’t have to test for a year and I am not stressing about it anymore. I am going to spend the next year continuing to get in shape so I don’t have to worry about it ever again. I have lost weight and I want to continue with that but more than that I just want to get into shape. I am looking in to martial arts, I think it would be fun and get me in shape, my problem is I have to trick myself with exercise, I can’t sit in front of a DVD for an hour, or even 20 minutes, I get bored and I just don’t want to do it but if I think it is a fun thing I will gladly do it. I was thinking of biking to work but I tried that the other day and I certainly got a workout but it is kind of scary around here, there are lots of places with no sidewalks or bike lanes and people really aren’t shy about getting close to a biker. Not to mention the hills in my area are killer, it really sucked.
Other than some random things life is ok, money is still tight but is a bit better than it was. I need to get a new phone and I have decided that I am not skimping this time, every phone I have gotten before has been the cheapest I could get with a new contract, free or $20. This time I want to get a good phone so I am going to make my next couple of weeks really tight and finally get my Iphone I have wanted. AT&T seems to be the best company to get signal where I work (at least there will be something compared to my Tmobile with nothing in any building I have to go to) so the good phone there is the Iphone for all those people who think they aren’t as good as others. I am not sure which one I should get though, the newest 4G or the 3GS, I could save money but get niftier stuff with the new one. I guess I will just decide when I actually get to the store, hopefully by Tuesday I will finally have it.
Today’s Woots!
Woot! Hubby got me a new phone. He stepped on mine a couple weeks ago so it wouldn’t accept a charge anymore so we have just been trading batteries everyday using his phone as a charger. Apparently a guy at his work had the same type of phone and wanted to get rid of it, he wanted $50 for it so I told hubby not to worry about it, we could save the money for something else and I would just deal with it until my contract was up in July. He came home and surprised me today with the phone and said not to worry about the cost of it, he broke my other phone so he wanted to replace it. I am happy, I like having a phone I can charge on my own and not having to rely on him so much for a battery plus, bonus, the phone has a newer style battery that lasts a lot longer. I am excited! Yayness much for the hubby, he did something great.
On another note and another woot for the day, I passed my eval! I got an 85 by the current standards which isn’t spectacular but is not bad at all. I am super happy, don’t have to worry about it for 6 more months. I won’t say that now I am going to just forget about it all until then but I can be a little less stressed. I want to do better, by the new standards I am maybe 2.7 points away from excellent and I should maybe try to get a little lower on my push ups. I really want to be able to max out push ups, that would mean 40 something in a minute which will be hard but is totally do able. Also, my run wasn’t exactly great, I was at a steady pace the entire time but I hit 15 minutes and I really want to improve that and not feel like I am absolutely dying by the end. So, my goal: next PT test is an excellent without death.
Only About 8 Hours To Go!
Woot! Hubby is finally on his way! He left last night but only got a few hours in before he stopped to sleep but he is back to driving now. He is past the Grapevine and my next worry is Mount Shasta since it will be mountain windy roads with possible rain and or snow. He is about 8-9 hours away though so I am excited. All I can say is it is about time! He kept running into a ton of problems when he was packing up the truck and he would call me all upset asking what he was supposed to do. I was just kind of sitting here most of the time wondering what the hell I was supposed to do seeing as I was in Washington. We think we seriously miscalculated the cost to fill up the tank but hopefully he still has enough money to get up here. Once we actually figured out how much it took to fill the tank we recalculated and he should be able to make it…hopefully.
I have just started to clean and get my apartment ready. I figure with another 8 hours it should be fine, this place doesn’t take a lot of cleaning. I just need to actually try to reorganize some stuff on top of the usual cleaning but even that shouldn’t take long because there isn’t a lot of ways to reorganize it. I am going to try to get some clothes out of the way, maybe put my blues and uniform stuff in the hall closet or something since I don’t use them very often, I’m not sure. I need a dreser or some plastic sealable bins to put my out of season clothes in but seeing as we aren’t sure he will have the money to keep up with gas I think I will wait before making any extra purchases.
I think snowboarding for this year is out. We were going to try to go this month but honestly I think it just won’t happen but he seems to be ok with that and even though I really wanted to do it I am fine too. At least I have the pants and jacket so I won’t have to worry about it next year. The plan at the moment seems to be get him here and then he wants to pretty much immediately try to start working again. Hopefully he can work at the shop on base to make carpooling easier but we will have to see. If not then my supervisor has already said it would be fine if I ride with her to work so it will work out one way or the other. Hopefully he can get a job really quick which will be extra money coming in. Obviously he brings in extra bills so if he is bringing in the money to cover them plus some extra it should be nice. On my own I usually have a little bit of extra money to play with so he should have enough to cover himself so we aren’t always stuck in the apartment. Other than that our new goal is to try to eat a lot healthier than we have been which may be hard on a budget but to also work out more. We have the gym in our apartment we may as well take advantage of it. With a little work hopefully we can both get to where we want to be and that will help us be happier in general, I know being more in shape is making me happier in general already so actually getting to where I want to be will be awesome. I actually ran about one and a half to two miles with out stopping the other day and the last time I did that was tech school before my waiver so yay!
Finally Some Excitement…
I had a realization today, probably something everyone really knows and honestly I kind of knew it but it is different knowing something and realizing it. Anyway, I had to go to PT this morning and nothing has changed, I still hate PT. So we get through the strength training and move onto the dreaded run. There was only one person from my shop there today and he runs on his own so that meant it was just me and my Ipod, usually this means I walk more because I don’t have anyone to push me. Bright exciting thing #1 for the day (not quite my realization yet, a bit of a sidetrack, apologies) I actually ran a mile straight, I didn’t stop until I finished the first mile. I was really proud, I haven’t done that in a while and my entire run time was actually pretty decent, not spectacular but decent. Well after the run obviously before work I need to shower and change and get ready for my work day. While I am putting on my boots I have the realization that I actually feel really good. I actually felt energized and a little proud, I was happy and just felt like I was actually getting the day started on the right foot. Now, I said this is something a lot of people know and I knew it, exercise makes people feel good for a bunch of different reasons but I had spent so much time concentrating on the momentary irritation and pain and struggling that I never really noticed it. I will still complain about PT, probably always will, but at least now I will loathe it just a little less.
So after PT I went to go get breakfast, I finished off my cereal so I decided to try Habanero which is a place we have on base that everyone talks about. It took a long time for them to actually make the food so I was a little irritated, not to mention I really don’t like breakfast burritos so I was already a bit sketchy. Well when I finally got the burrito and rushed to work and managed to get a bite I was so happy I waited. It was so amazingly good, I think I will try to go there after PT everyday if I have the time and maybe eventually go there for some other meal but I am so happy I tried it. So, exciting thing #2: yay for new experiences and them going well!
On with my day, after I shoveled down the burrito (unfortunately I had to eat it super fast because I didn’t have much time at all) I went to sit in on a class. The person who was instructing this class I hadn’t seen teach yet and he and I reached a deal, he was teaching both classes that day so I agree to teach half of each class. Off we went to the classroom and he started with the first half of the class, then comes the break. I started to get a bit nervous but he was helpful and walked me through what I would be doing. I actually taught. I squished down all the little butterflies that were trying to mess up my stomach and taught. Then I did it again for the next class but for the first section. So exciting thing #3: finally reaching the point where I can convince myself to not have butterflies (I really felt nothing in my stomach, almost but I figured out how to stop it, I could never do that before, I would get so nervous in front of people and try to rush through whatever I was saying and just sit down and put my head down. I am so happy to finally have gotten this much confidence, even the guy who was teaching with me said that just in the time I have been in the shop I have totally come out of my shell and gained confidence.) And #4: I taught an entire class today! Maybe it wasn’t straight through but put it together I covered all of the material at some point and taught it all! I am so happy.
After that the day was pretty much done, almost. Boo point #1: I got into a fight with hubby…again. Maybe I took it too far or maybe he was in the wrong but it sucked, as with all of our arguments I think I have a slightly better understanding but it just sucks that I have to go through the fights with him to get that extra bit of knowledge. It would be nice if he could open up and tell me and it would be nice if I wasn’t so sensitive to things but it’s just the way we are. I just hope that I can figure out what I need to before these fights ruin everything. Boo #2: Got an oh so fun email from my mom which was a follow up to a previous email, both ruffled my feathers quite a bit. I sent her my comments back and it may end up making her angry but whatever, Exciting point #whatever: She no longer has any control over me, I don’t live in her house, I don’t need her money, I am free and don’t have to take her crap. After the emails and thinking about things I am now wondering if I even really want to go back for Christmas. There were reasons I was so anxious to leave that place and they apparently just aren’t going away like I was hoping they would. Not to mention I would have to figure out what to do with the cats, board them or try to take them, if I take them I have to drive. Do I want to drive or fly? Do I even have the money to cover it all? Is it worth all of the stress and irritation? I love my sister and I don’t want to leave her alone for Christmas, my mom said that if I wasn’t coming down she would probably fly back to Hawaii, I also have a bunch of stuff I would love to do in Cali, theme parks, restaurants…not to mention maybe renting a uhaul to get the rest of my stuff up here and whatever is going on with hubby. But most of that can be postponed, hubby doesn’t need me there to make his decision…I don’t know what to do, luckily (and in some cases unluckily) December is pretty far off.
I Survived!
So today’s PT was the obvious strength training with a 3 mile run following…yeah…I actually did decently, i was kind of proud of myself. My supervisor was running with me and she wasn’t really letting me stop when I wanted to which I really needed. I ended up walking about 4 times which, overall, really wasn’t bad for me. I almost did a whole mile straight, I can’t remember if I actually made it or not, I think I maybe walked for a little bit, either way, I am pretty proud. The Air Force is revamping their PT requirements and for a little bit I was kind of worried I wouldn’t be able to do very well. I looked at what they are setting as their standards and thought about how I ran and I think I might actually be able to do it. I am very happy about that seeing as I am thinking of making this a career.
Today wasn’t a bad day, basic stuff, same old same old for work, not a bunch of new or exciting stuff. Progress being made here and there and I finally got something in so I can get better knowledge of my job and if I complete soon I can have a higher skill level so I am excited to finally be able to start that. I am now sitting in my nice clean apartment watching “Singing in the Rain” and relaxing. After this I will go cuddle up in my amazingly comfortable bed and go to sleep and be ready for tomorrow, just have to make it through the next few days and I am set. Eventually I need to get on my Wii Fit but that is a thought for later…
And now, back to my movie…
Freaking Missouri…
I am completely bored. Normally when I am bored I would pester my husband and text him or call him way more than he probably wants to deal with. Unfortunately he is out at the Renaissance Faire today with a big group of friends. We were texting but he was taking ten minutes per response and it was driving me insane and doing nothing for my boredom so I decided to stop. I am really irritated but most of all really unhappy and homesick. I actually sent a text a little while ago hoping he would make me feel better and I still haven’t gotten a response, at least he is enjoying himself. I love going to the ren faire, that is our tradition and I am missing it. Now he is not only out doing something I really want to be doing but he is out playing with a big group of friends and doesn’t even really seem to have time to talk to me. I hate this. I hate being stuck here, I hate that I am here until mid June, I hate that I don’t relly have anyone to hang out with or anything to do, I hate that I can’t see my husband or anybody else, I just hate it. I don’t know how I thought I could deal with this long separation but I am not dealing with it well at all. My first anniversary will be happening while I am home for two weeks. I will have been married a year which is awesome except I will have been gone for half of it. I am missing holidays, I am missing faires, I am missing family and friends, I am missing cuddles and hugs and kisses and I am missing kitty love too. I have nothing here at all. It doesn’t help my mood that my room mate is taking a nap which means I have to try to be quiet and the room is all dark. Normally I am sitting and munching and watching movies or something. Nope, not today. I thought she was supposed to be gone all day volunteering for the animal shelter but that only lasted until noon, we were both pretty surprised. I can’t stop making countdowns. I have a countdown of total days until I am out of here, a countdown of school days until I am out of here, a countdown of PT days, a countdown of days until hubby visits…the list goes on. It is kind of crazy honestly but I just can’t help it.
Supposedly our PT is supposed to be getting harder here. I am not looking forward to it. One of the MTL’s was talking about having us go out in our ABU’s and tennis shoes and doing low crawling and a whole bunch of other stuff like that, definitely not fun at all. I guess I can struggle through that stuff one way or the other, just so long as he doesn’t up the running. Apparently the Air Force itself may be redoing their physical fitness standards and putting more emphasis on running. I hate that, everyone who has anything to do with physical standards seems to assume that running is the best thing in the world. There is so much other stuff to do! We can get in shape so many ways but nope, we have to run. Running just hurts people, there are so many things that can go wrong with it. If you are running on the wrong ground then you can screw up your legs, if you are in the wrong shoes you are doomed, if you have the wrong form then Heaven help you…grrr, that’s all I have to say.
We might get snow on Monday again. I hope so, if it’s early enough it gets me out of PT but snow just seems kind of fun. The weather is stupid and random so it will probably be bright and sunny but I am hoping. Most likely what will actually happen is it will get really cold but be just above freezing with no rain or snow so we still have PT and end up freezing. We also have a 50% chance of thunder and lightnng storms tonight, a good storm would make me really happy. I haven’t seen a really good one since Texas. All of the weather reports are straddling the line of PT or no PT. They all play it safe and say there may be snow and it may be below freezing, possibly. Someone give me a more confident answer. I hate trying to guess the weather, I should probably just try to turn it into a fun game or something. Give myself a treat if I guess right, maybe I can get my room mate in on it, it could be a little fun and make it a little less frustrating. Most sites I am looking at seem to be saying actual temperature will be above freezing but wind chill is what could cause the temperature to lower. Tricky, tricky Missouri.
On the bright side, I phase up soon! Woot, I will be able to leave this base in civilian clothes. I have to pass a PT test before I can but that at least means that one day of PT next week won’t be too bad for me. So, if one (preferably 2) days of PT get canceled then another bad one gets knocked out for evals and I am potentially left with one day of the really hard PT. There is a little bit of a brightside to next week. Plus I get to start looking forward to my husband coming out here. Once next week rolls around I will start a countdown and then the week after that he will actually be driving out, I am excited! He will be here for two-ish weeks. that means that I come back from school, finish formation and can run off with him to somewhere off base and pretend that things are somewhat where they should be. After that it is about two weeks between visits. I think that will be what gets me through this. He will have three visits, in 2 weeks he is here, he is here for 2 weeks then here again 2 weeks later and 2 weeks after that is the last visit and the one that I get to actually drive home with him. Three visits and it is all done. At least I know that 4 weeks of this (the times he will be here before graduation) will fly by. I just have to make sure I don’t get too distracted with him here and I have to keep studying. I can get through this…because I don’t want to be here any longer than I have too, especially with the talk of all of the ticks coming out…ew, freaking Missouri.
