The Smell of the Seasons
There is a certain something that goes with the burning hazelnut candle on my coffee table, cuddling in a warm blanket and watching a dark movie like Interview with a Vampire with the lights down and the feeling of fall all around. I have a peace that I have not felt in a long time, hubby is at work and I can’t wait for him to get home and join me in this wonderful mood.
It is that amazing time of year where the feeling of everything starts to change, the trees take on the colors of fire and their leaves fall like snow, the smell in the air is one of spices and autumn and the holidays are coming around. We will have Halloween coming very soon with all of the childish fun and excitement it brings, kids dressed in cute little outfits, tons of candy, fun decorations and scary entertainment. I have movies picked out on netflix set for a movie marathon should that be the choice for Halloween night or I may go to a party or out with friends, there are so many options. Then there will be Thanksgiving, the first Thanksgiving with my husband in Washington as well as the first I can do anything. Last year I had my wisdom teeth pulled the day before but this year our shop is thinking of getting together and having a shop Thanksgiving meal for those of us not going home. A fun group gathering for our odd little family. Then the smooth transition into the winter holidays, the subtle change of scents from cozy heavy smells you want to wrap yourself in and make you hungry to the wintery fresh scents that make you feel like you are walking through a pine forest or unwrap presents under the Christmas tree. Christmas will be a wonderful experience I hope. This will be one away from my family with just hubby and I creating our own traditions. we can decorate our own tree and unwrap presents with just us on Christmas morning. Family is always nice to have around but there is something to be said about a nice Christmas with just the hubby and I. Can we all tell that I am excited for this time of year? Summer used to be my favorite season but I think I have grown into a lover of fall and winter, I think I am equally in love with each.
I have been doing laundry on and off through out the day and cleaned up a bit here and there. The house still looks cluttered and a bit messy and we still have boxes all around and have way too much stuff but we are finally making it a home. It is really the little things that make somewhere a home, just small things probably different to each person that makes a place feel comfy and lived in. Hopefully over the next bit of time we can sort the boxes, donate a bunch of stuff and really get everything settled. We are so close and that just adds to the awesome feeling.
We also had a minor epiphany not long ago. It is something that we had vaguely realized before but it really hit home recently. I was in Hawaii for just over a week and while I was there had no real reason to spend any money. When I got home I realized just how much was left in my bank account and how much we screw around and waste money. I got back and we could actually do things and have fun! We went out yesterday to see Jo Koy perform because I found out the day of that he was in the area and actually had money for tickets. We had the money to buy lights and a coffee table to help with our home, we could actually do what we wanted without being afraid that we couldn’t pay bills! It is a great feeling and hopefully one that can keep up. When we discovered how much extra there was we did the calculations and saw how much we could have, not enough to be rich by any means but enough for us young adults to live a life and enjoy it. Now I am planning to settle in tonight and budget and hopefully get a lot of our old debts paid faster and get rid of them and still balance everything and have fun, that is the goal at least. I think I will also start cooking a bit more at home, or maybe strike a deal with my husband, he cooks the 2 days he has off, I cook the 2 I have off and we can eat cheap food or leftovers the other three days. With us living so close to work we are already saving a ton on gas, especially since he works really close to me so we have managed to cut down a decent amount of spending so far. The whole idea of getting things paid off and potentially having money really makes me happy and excited and that excitement seemed to have finally hit my dear hubby.
Washer Woes…
My washer is broken and it really sucks. I have a ridiculous amount of laundry to do but I can’t do any of it. On the bright side the reason it is still broken is because the maintenance guy at my apartment told me that if I can hold off until Tuesday (well Monday technically but schedule dictates Tuesday) I can get a brand new washer. Apparently the ones we currently have are so old the parts are going obsolete and are therefor more difficult to find and the complex just got a budget for new appliances. Good timing for my washer to die I think. So, I am sucking it up until Tuesday, then I will come home from work, bask in the awesomeness of the new washer and do boat loads of laundry…yay? Is it sad that my life has fallen so low that I am excited about a new washer? I guess that is an entirely different matter.
My sister is coming out in less than a week! I am excited and so looking forward to it. I need a break from life and this will hopefully be exactly what I need. I feel bad because I can’t get days off from work but the reason is valid and I will explain it sometime later, whatever the case I have sadly limited how we can spend time here but my sister is awesome with finding stuff to do even in time limits so it will be great. We at least have some basic plans already set up, the fair, a free concert, I am sure she has found a bunch of other stuff. It also kind of depends on the weather, she is excited for the rain but it can limit our options as far as stuff to do goes. I am sure another cooking adventure will take place, I think there was a deal that this time she would cook for me and I will absolutely call her on since I love home cooked food but I hate the effort it requires. I am a generally lazy person, I get bored with it but the output of energy usually just isn’t any fun. Of course it always depends but my preferred thing to do is sit on the couch and watch movies or play games, things that don’t require much, its sad but true. Anyway, sister’s visit…should be good fun my current challenge is to get that room straight (also made worse because of the washer situation), she says she would be good so long as there is a bed and a path to it but I really want to do better than that so I am trying. I have made a decent amount of progress, at this point I can probably get the space for the bed and the path but I am trying to do more, it is not so easy, husband has a bunch of stuff that he *still* has not sorted even though he keeps telling me he will be getting it done. I think I am just going to try to condense it down into the minimum number of boxes and just throw it somewhere…like at his head 
We will see how it all goes I guess.
Easter Egg Bust
Blarg! I am broke again…eventually this will stop happening. I think we have our system worked out, we just have to clear up the mess from the end of last month and hopefully it makes everything smoothed out and good. I also probably could have not bought the stuff for hubby’s Easter basket but I didn’t do anything for Valentine’s Day because I was so broke and it bothered me, I like having the traditions and always being able to give something for the holidays so I wanted to make sure to do something and not miss a something special again…even if it is not a lot of money put into it and a little skimpier than usual, it is still at least something.
It’s another weekend! I slept until noonish today…probably not the smartest thing but it was nice. I originally intended to get all of my cleaning done today so that tomorrow would be just relaxing with hubby since we both have the day off…I failed. I have cleaned some, dishes are done (mostly) and counters are scrubbed and I am in the process of washing the sheets and blankets. Luckily today I think I might actually remember to flip the mattress when hubby gets home, we keep meaning to do it but never manage to remember. And even though I really intended to do way more than that I got caught on Farmville in facebook and watching the mass amounts of episodes of NCIS I have recorded on the DVR, I am kind of pitiful but weekends are for relaxing.
Last night we got out a bit, they had an adult easter egg hunt at some new soccer fields down the street. It wasn’t so much of a hunt like we really thought it would be, it was pretty much a throw all of the eggs on the field and when they say go everyone runs to grab what they can. Honestly it was really disappointing, we were all crammed together but managed to be second row back, when we were released the first row pretty much grabbed everything. Hubby managed to snag one egg which had a couple of candies and a gift certificate to a place down the street for a month of some sort of martial art, I might go check it out soon and see if the certificate works for adults or just for kids. The hunt was a bummer but we ended up going to hang out with some of the friends we went with to the bar. We relaxed, hung out and played pool, it was a pretty nice night.
Home Alone…
Hubby is off to his first day of work and I have the apartment to myself for the first time since he got here. I am enjoying it, I love him and I love spending time with him but everyone needs a little time on their own. He usually gets his time because he was here before while I was at work and he stays up way later than I do. I haven’t really done a whole lot today, just kind of sat here and relaxed. I moved a couple of pieces of furniture and have been doing some laundry and doing bits and pieces of things here and there but not going too crazy. Luckily hubby did a lot of cleaning last night before he came to bed, he also started marinading some meat for dinner tonight and I smelled the marinade and I cannot wait to have dinner tonight. Hopefully he comes home happy from work and hopefully the day was generally a good one. I know he is happier now that he has a job, he is one of those that without it and without money of his own he is very unhappy and feels like he isn’t putting anything into a household; even if he were doing all of the cooking and cleaning he wouldn’t be happy. So him having a job takes away money stress as well as some extra stress and annoyance from him so it will make life easier.
Edit: Dinner was amazing!
Sick…
Ugh…hubby is sick. Not flu type sick just really bad cold. He is coughing a ridiculous amount which makes it so he can’t fall asleep until about 4 in the morning. So much for trying to get our sleep schedules to sync up. For the past couple of nights he has also been sleeping on the couch so he doesn’t wake me up, it is understandable, I am a really light sleeper and I need the sleep, it just sucks. Whatever, not like he was going to sleep with me anyway so I didn’t get to cuddle or anything, he just randomly shows up in the middle of the night, wakes me up while he gets in to bed and tries to talk to me then falls asleep.
I am frustrated. I am ridiculously broke right now, like literally I have budgeted down to my last dollar and though technically I have money in my account it is already spoken for. I write out a check every month to the same guy and it takes him forever to cash it but I am not going to spend the money hoping he won’t, therefor, I am broke. This also means I am stuck at home which could be nice except my apartment is jam packed with stuff and hubby and I aren’t doing anything, no connection no fun. He picks up his computer and is lost. As soon as he grabs his I grab mine and that is how the night progresses until I go to sleep. I was irritated last night and told him about it and here I sit tonight in the same situation. He got a message from someone he hasn’t talked to in years so that is why he said he has been on so long, fine, whatever.
Kudos to him for starting to wash the blankets and sheets (he needed to so he could get the cat hair off of them and hopefully sleep in the room tonight) but seriously if you are going to do that just freaking do it. Don’t let the crap sit in the washer and dryer while you are playing online with whomever especially when I specifically said before I was even close to coming home that I would be taking over the washer and dryer when I got home. GRR! I hate this, one thing gets me frustrated then it all builds up and now I am just in a horrible mood and I can’t even cuddle up in bed and go to sleep because dear hubby couldn’t finish the stupid blankets. URG! I need a vacation…
Excellence in all we do…
Ugh…I think my washer may be breaking again which is really irritating. Oh well most of my laundry is done and it should last a bit longer plus now that my pet deposit is paid I can get the people in to fix it whenever. Luckily the apartment managers are really good about getting someone out here to fix it the same day.
Back to normal work today…ew. It wasn’t really bad it was just bleh. I had PT which wasn’t too bad, we did stations of different things again today since it was heavier rain, then I ended up on a bike for a bit, nothing too impressive. Work itself was a bit dull, just basics was done fairly early on. I went to get a shot, the final in my HPV set, the other two didn’t hurt but this one felt like I was punched in the arm. Maybe I was tense for some reason? No idea. I also got an email telling me how they are planning to implement the new PT eval requirements and unfortunately it doesn’t work in my favor at the moment. In order to get everyone set up on the new system people who had tested at the end of the year have to retest so because of this they have set up general times. Unfortunately where I would have tested in April and had tons of time to prepare I now test in February sometime. I should be ok if I can get to where I was in basic and if I can improve a little I can probably make excellent which would be kind of awesome. It wasn’t a big deal to me before but now I know I am actually kind of close and I actually want it. I have never been in shape and good with PT before so to get an excellent would be awesome. Anyway, I need to get my run time back down and maybe be better than basic. I had really messed up knees when I ran that eval so hopefully I can do it. I also need to do more push ups. First step with that is probably getting one of the people who evaluates the PT tests to tell me if I am doing the push ups properly, then do what I do in basic. Start with on in perfect form and then each day add another one. It is a slow build up and it is easy enough to push yourself for one more a day. Sit ups I should be good with though I need a stop watch or something so I can make sure I max those out in a minute. The max is 54 and I can do that I just don’t know how long it takes. Other than that is the waist measurement which all I can do is generally core exercises to improve. I don’t have anything to measure with but I haven’t put on any weight since basic or since before I left, I have actually lost some so it stands to reason that my waste measurement is about the same. Then again with my luck it will be worse and I will lose points. I have crunched the numbers and figured out what I need to pass and it shouldn’t be too hard but as I said, I want excellent if I can get it.
The Bright Side
So here I sit in a clean apartment (today is the designated cleaning day, this also applies to others I know so I wonder if it is left over from tech school?) waiting for my laundry to run through and trying to figure out what to buy at the grocery store. I am hungry and should probably eat first before I go to the store (procrastinating is simply the art of finding excuses) and then from there I will go. But I still don’t know what to buy. I only need food for about a week because after that my wisdom teeth come out and I think I will pretty much be on a liquid diet, I plan to shop for that the day before so stuff won’t go bad…or get eaten early I figure chicken, it is kind of my basic staple, and then I figured whatever is cheap but that isn’t exactly conducive to menu planning and budgeting. Oh well, I have this same issue every week, I just need to find recipes that look super easy and/or super tasty. It’s pretty much too late to buy crockpot stuff because I will want to be going to bed by the time it is done cooking, then again maybe pot roast again with more veggies and let it cook while I am at work? Then again I think I am a bit paranoid for that, I don’t like leaving things that cook unattended, but isn’t that the beauty of a slow cooker? Hm, maybe pot roast would be worth getting over it for.
So I am counting down, a usual I have a ton of count downs because I get bored and play with numbers. Anyway, I have my countdown to Christmas, that is the most obvious, countdown to my teeth getting pulled, that one is nerve wrecking and of course the one that is potentially the countdown on my marriage, that one is scary. I have myself set up surprisingly well. I have decided that if he does decide that he doesn’t want to stick around I will volunteer for a tour in Korea. Originally I thought that it is mostly seen as a place you don’t want to be stationed but I have done a little researching and found a lot of good stuff. It is actually kind of exciting though still not something I would be so quick to jump on if I stay married. If I do that it would be a little while off because I need at least a year here but I but the time that decision has been made it will be 5 months, almost halfway. Then thinking about from what I have read it takes about 6 months for a divorce to get finalized so by that time I am all ready to go. I would have to hope that he could find somewhere to live that would work with the cats and then he could have them. After a time in Korea I would be able to get a base of preference which means I could use that to do what I always wanted and move to Europe. I am really lucky. I have set myself in a position where a divorce, though painful, would open different but still great doors. I would rather be happily married but if I get to the point where that is not an option at this time then at least I can still have some fun and love my life instead of spending a ton of time unhappy and going through a routine and nothing else. Instead I will throw myself somewhere new and not give myself that routine to fall into. My question now, is this just a matter of I set myself up this way or is it a matter of perspective? I have seen many women fall apart when a marriage ends and rightfully so, but I have also seen those that lose themselves and just stop really living and seem to think that they don’t have anything else to do or any other options. As far as I see it (optimist in me), there is always other options and always the bright side and always potential, you just have to find it. Sometimes it is harder to find and sometimes you do need to take a bit of extra time, I am not saying just to jump into stuff and go crazy if a marriage ends, mourn it if you need to, but don’t let that end your life. Find your bright side and get to it, it can’t stay bad forever unless you let it.
Now that I have rambled, anyone have any dinner suggestions?
Hakuna Matata
The laundry is done, my room is cleaned and my bags are packed. I am not sure how I am going to lug my bags around, mainly not sure how I am going to lug my bags out of my room to the bus and drop off point when it is time to come home but I guess I will cross that bridge when I come to it. It would be easier if they weren’t planning to give me another bag on top of all of the stuff that I had to pack but it happens. I think I have everything cleaned out of the fridge that could go bad quickly so everything should be set. Now I sit back and enjoy the last bit of calm before the storm of insanity. I would try to hang out with somebody but they all seem to have left already so Disney movies will be my entertainment for now…Hakuna matata
Anyway, so after today I will be offline for a week-ish and I probably still won’t have much to say except that I will be incredibly happy to have the week over with. This is all so high stress that it’s just making everything go so slowly, once it is done life can be somewhat normal and we can make our way to the holidays and December and everything that will bring. Actually, have to get through November first and I am really hoping to get my wisdom teeth pulled early November, I guess every month has its mountains to climb.
So on I go, wish us luck and I will write when I get back.
Adventures
I had adventures today. What was my adventure? I had to get two cats into their carriers and get them to the boarding place. It was interesting, I thought that my cat would be the most difficult, I was wrong. I got my cat into his carrier fairly easily, luckily it is a hard sided carrier so I didn’t have to do much work. The other cat? He was having none of it and his was a soft sided carrier. I basically had to tackle him and lay on him while squishing either his head or his butt into the carrier (he was either trying to bolt forward or scootch backwards) and use my other hand to zip up the carrier. It was tricky but I finally managed it, they mewed the whole way to the boarding place, very, very unhappy fuzzballs. I hope they are doing ok now, it’s kind of odd to not have them running around right now. It’s nice to not have to worry about letting them out or watching out for them but it is kind of lonely. I hope they aren’t mad at me for too long and the boarding place keeps them fat and happy.
After I dropped them off I went shopping. I bought some snacks for the plane ride and supplies to cook. I made my lemon caper chicken so I could have a good meal before a week of MRE’s. I also bought books for the plane. It has been a while since I read anything and even longer since I read good classic literature. I bought, a book on Cleopatra (back when I hated reading I had a select few topics I would almost always devour books that had to do with it, Cleopatra was one of them, Queen Elizabeth was another and there were a couple others), Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass and the Jungle Books. I have barely started the Jungle Books and I was sad to put it down. I need to save it for my plane rides but I forgot how much I love reading good books. I have missed it and I finally have new books but I have to wait. I have been reading some other books that are good and I love them but they aren’t quite as filling as others. I missed the heavy, thorough stories and intricate details, stories that one can just fall into. I have spent too much time in dark fantasies, I love the vampires and fae and everything else I have been reading but I forgot to keep up with the heavier stuff. Unfortunately, after this big inspection I have to go back to studying for my upgrade training which means reading anything other than my study guides is put on hold. Another few months and I should be good to go, then I can start school and read and branch out.
I emailed my Aunt that I haven’t talked to in a long time. A couple of years apparently according to my email dates. I feel bad that I hadn’t talked to her but I was miffed at how she acted before my wedding, polite but still badly in my opinion, and then she never emailed me so we just fell out of contact. It happens, I am bad about keeping in contact in general if people don’t send me stuff, I don’t like talking to myself so if they don’t send me stuff then I tend not to either. She was happy to get the email and hopefully we can stay in contact. Maybe we can visit each other at some point, we will just have to see. Other than that today has just been laundry and getting ready to go. I have to do another load or two and then finish packing and I should be good.
